Now, before you all rush out and buy a copy, I will warn you its not anything like what you see here in terms of knowledge or wisdom. Its a silly fiction novel written as an autobiography of a fake character named Jonny Awesome. Jonny is a playwright who adapts video games to the stage and makes them into musicals. See, the concept is ridiculous. Its one of those works that is so completely stupid that its funny. So don't contract a mob dude to murder me if you spend $16 on it and find that you hate the book more than Indiana Jones hates snakes. But you don't care about that, so that's why this post will cease talking about the actual content of the book, and progress on to the actual process of getting a printed book from Cafe Press right now...after these two little hyphen thingies. -- Cafe Press is not a publisher. They are a printer that allows people like myself to publish books using their equipment and manpower. They also do not stock anything -- all orders are made on an as-need basis. As such, my book was published under the "Polyfro Books" moniker, keeping the branding from my website, which is kinda neat. Plus its another excuse to slap that obnoxious orange afro logo on something. One of the cool things about Cafe Press is that they require you to upload a PDF file, which allows you the freedom to design your book in any program you wish, be it InDesign, Quark, or (gasp) Word. I, of course, used InDesign. They offer a splendid tutorial that explains designer terminology -- things like bleeds, why you need to use high-resolution images, what non-print margins are, when to use different kinds of binding, and proper font usage -- and allow you to upload a TIF file for your cover art, which is great. I don't think they quite expected someone like me to upload an uncompressed 40 meg TIF file, but at least I was considerate and waited until 1am to do it so I didn't crush their server pipeline. The big question I had, and that many of you may have as well, is "what is the print quality?" Well, to the graphic designer eye, its not bad. Actually, that's unfair, because "not bad" means "shabby but I couldn't bring myself to say shabby". It is full bleed CMYK, but its digital, much like you would get from a commercial digital printer. From a normal viewing distance to the non-designer segment of the populace, it looks fantastic. Now, you look closely with a designer eye, and you can see halftones and rough edges, but that's the curse. To most people, its no different than a commercially produced book from a big print house. The cover is white 10pt laminated cover stock, similar to what you would see in any commercially produced paperback. Inside, the pages are 50lb opaque cream paper, again very similar to what you'd expect in a commercially produced paperback. The inside printing is either laser printed or plain ol' one color digital -- its tough to tell, and to be honest, it looks fabulous. The text is extremely sharp and clear, and actually looks better than some books I've bought at a big box book store. The pictures are better than I expected. The uncoated stock does muddy them up slightly, but they're actually pretty good. On photos with the backgrounds dropped out, their are halftone dots visible where there should be nothing but white (or paper color). But from a normal reading distance, its hardly noticable and not a distraction to the non-designer. They offer wire-o and saddle stitching on books as well, with higher quality paper used on each, and of course higher prices. -- The photos in the book were all purchased royalty-free from iStockPhoto, a great little site that sells images for $3. Perfect for a low-budget production like this book. Funny thing is, I've noticed a couple of the photos used other places, such as the photo of the trampoline jumper. Apparently other designers are also privy to the hidden gems available cheaply on that site. -- Two of my esteemed colleagues here on BE A Design Group are fighting over the right to design my next book. This is quite possibly the most flattered I have ever been, as Drew and Donovan are not only two of my good friends but are two of the best designers I know. Just imagine: their design with my words? There will need to be a new word invented to describe that level of gnarlyness. -- Well, you've made it to the end, so you're probably asking, "where can I purchase this fine book?" Right here. If you enjoy the sense of humor on my blog, I'm sure you'll love the book. If you think I'm an idiot who's not particularly funny, you'd probably enjoy something else better. But please do buy the book, and then tell me how much you hate my guts later. You bet.