I used my illustration skills to train people to kill. …fur real.

I’m working on a project where both the client and the other contractors think I know how to code PHP, Javascript, AJAX, and some othe crap… man am I in trouble!

I am a self-taught hack that works for a communications company where most of our clients are trying to get lucrative contracts from the government. Our work is sub par and design takes a back seat to almost every other consideration. It makes me miserable.

I horizontally scaled type 7.5%, so that it would fit in the narrower, alloted space.

When I first started out I stole images off of Google Image search and passed them off as my own work when making promotional designs for local club nighs and bar events.

A few years ago I was growing weary of working for this particular company, but I still tried to always create the best design possible. That is until this little project. This company was of the mentality that, “If we are doing four color we better use as much of it as possible.” When I received the text, which talked about black and white and light, I thought it would be the perfect time to not use any color. When I created the first version it was all black and white and everything had its meaning. I was quickly told that it was “nice” but could I ad some color and make it more eye catching? That was the straw. I proceeded to do everything without any meaning or contrary to the meaning (I even added a star burst and as many drop shadows as possible). To my surprise the supervisor didn’t care, or didn’t even notice that this was trash. I’m sure I have done worse, but that is the first thing that comes to mind.

I am a non-talented designer working as a production artist for a company that will never allow me to get anywhere higher up in the world. I say that I’m trying to advance myself, but really I’m just a hack thats good at squeezing copy into small spaces.

I would give up graphic design tomorrow if I could be happier and more expressive with my art, the way I used to be before I was corrupted by a corporate job.

I stole the entire font library from Savannah College of Art and Design on my iPod shuffle when I was there for a week long summer program.

I own the entire CS2 Suite, made possible by a bittorrent that i found and finished streaming in less than 20 hours. In fact, every piece of software i own (Quark, Transmit, Adobe Acrobat Professional, Flash MX & Dreamweaver 8) is a design related crime. I have never paid for a single piece of software in my entire life.

Don’t even get me started about my Linotype library.

I do bursts of good work but i’m ashamed to admit that i can’t afford to give to the industry that means the most to me.

Start casting your stones.

I designed a website for a major company that proceeded to pay me far less than the agreed price and generally screwed me. When I interviewed for a job a year later I included the website in my portfolio, which is well and good, but I was short on print pieces so I included their print brochure as well, which I did NOT design…

At my full time job, when people I work with annoy me, I’ll subtly photoshop thier company photos. One woman I flattened the top of her hair just a bit, darkened under her eyes, and made her look a bit heavier.

I started blogging about bad clients - my real / current clients.

i believe that the design i do for myself and not for money is art

When i finish a concept for a client within an hour, i wait a few days and mail it to them after midnight. It obviously takes time to concipiate a truely great piece of art.

I use gradients. A lot. And I can’t stop.

I use dropshadows way too much.

i like…no…i love starbursts

oh and i hate all you talentless hacks that are stealing jobs from people with actual talent

I got about 1,900 fonts from my work and took them home.

i know what city illustrationism & BammGraphics lives in and that they have eaten dog meat and fruit bat before - AND that they are one of the few who know how to annihilate the ‘macromedia freehand curse’ on adobe!!

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got about 1,900 fonts from my work and took them home

thank you!!